My Darling Husband, Mark
My husband was diagnosed with non-small cell lung cancer in April of 1999. By the time it was found it had gone to the other lung, liver and bone. He fought a brave fight with radiation and chemotherapy, but lost that fight March 28, 2000 at 9:30 a.m. He was was suffering so very much all I could do was pray to God for Mercy for him. For almost a year I prayed that when the end came God would give me strength and wisdom to do what was right for Mark and not what was right for Cindy.
I could have kept him here for a time with heroic medicine, I chose to let him go home. I though my heart would stop beating at the moment his did...but, I'm still here. I took sole care of him through his illness, I did everything I could, everything he asked me to do always. At the moment of his death he looked up at me and said "help, help" and then there was just no more room in his lungs for air to breathe and he died. The last thing he asked me to help him do I couldn't help....I couldn't help him. Oh God, please be merciful to me now.
Mark loved to be outdoors, he loved hunting, golfing, cooking out. He was a rascal and I loved him with all there is. I lost a friend, confidant, lover, my life when he died. He was funny!!!! He made everyone around him smile. I hold on to the belief that he's in the Presence of God and suffering no more. I hope his mom and dad are loving him until I can get there to join them. I have a hard time getting on the "before" side of the cancer...back to where we were happy and loving each other. Cancer took him away from me before it took his body away. He was there one day and gone the next. It took all he had inside to fight a battle he was doomed to loose. I prayed for healing....I know he was healed. He received the Ultimate healing.