Death of a Friend, Phil

Randy Shake

It has been a year that I have lost my Mother-In-Law to Cancer. If you have friends orfamily members who are smokers get them to quit, before it is too late. I have lost another friend of over 10 years to Cancer his name is Allen. And this week a friendand co Worker a kind and decent Christian Man called me to ask if I could be a Pall Bearer at his funeral. I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. He had been in a Car accident several years ago and contracted Hepatitis from a contaminated transfusion. He also has diabetes and other health problems and he is dying.As I have turned 40 I realize that many of my Friends and Family I will loose to death in the coming years. Both of my parents are still alive. My Father is born on the same day as my youngest Son, and he has had a close brush with his heart last year. My ex Wife lost a child in birth that I have never really been able to grieve over, and have always wondered what She would have been like as a person. I have 5 Children living. They range in ages from 20 to 5. Two Girls and 3 Boys. I have grieved about being away from them because of a Divorce 5 years ago. My oldest made me a Grandfather 8 months ago. I have a Wonderful Grandson. Sometimes the Holidays are hard to deal with and I just have to be off by myself. I do my grieving in private. I guess I was raised by the Old School, Men Don't Show Fear or Pain. I am about as PC Incorrect as a Man could be. Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong Century and Country. Ancient Sparta or Assyriawould have been more to my nature. To be a male in our Modern American Society is to be in a bad place. I think Women want Men to be something we are not and they criticize us for being Men. Well this Man is not going to change or get in touch with his feminine side or any of that Crap. I will miss my Friendfor his humanity, decency, kindness and compassion. I will honor his memory and his friendship. I miss my kind Mother-in-Law for her hospitality, sense of humor, love of good fun and family. But mostly for the Wonderful daughter she raised who is my Bride and my Wife. I miss my friend Allen who gave my family a piano that was given to him by his Mother. He was a generous and giving Person.

Randy Shake



You can send email to Randy Shake at randyshake@usa.net

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Anniversary date - Various
Date of post - 12-07-00

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