When I was very small, He left home, to work very far away. I saw him but once a year for 2 or 3 days, sometimes every 3 or 4 years. He called me his Peanut when he visited. I looked forward to Daddy coming home permanently, when I heard he would; I was 13. But he never got his wish, and died before he got to come home - He was only 51.
My 9 brothers and sisters seemed to know more of what was to come than I. All I knew was my Daddy was gone forever. He looked so beautiful, lying there, and all I could do was cry. Not because he died, I knew everyone died and that I'd see him again. So I didn't have to say Goodbye, only, "till then". I cried because I never got to know him as I wanted, I cried because He would never walk me down the isle, or see his grandbabies, or hold me when I cry. I cried because he was gone and part of me went with him.
I know he is there, guiding me, praying for me. I know he was there during good times and bad because I never said Goodbye-only "till then".
And he knows I think of him and remember a time of holding hands and teaching me to draw trees. And back rubs and that special twinkle he always had when he called me-Peanut.
The years have flown and my children help clean his head stone, and see how he was through his art. It is hanging on our wall-and I smile when I look at it-knowing he is looking back and loving us. Thank you Daddy for doing what you could do. Thank you for being with me at my wedding-I know you were, because I found out that day that the priest who said mass at the ceremony-told us-he just came from saying a mass at your cemetary. It was the connection I needed.
Thank you for letting me know , in my heart, where it counts, that you'll never leave me and that I can be strong because God has blessed me with being able to see you once again-someday.....Pray I stay here and raise my kids-Pray I can give them what you so much wanted to give me. Pray I am able to continue God's will and show God's love to my children. I miss you so much!
"Till then dad, I love you!"